my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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