It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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