Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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