just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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