I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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