the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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