Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
