it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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