Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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