I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
