I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
