Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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