i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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