why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
