i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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