So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
