what day is it and did you see me today?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
