dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
