Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
