I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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