the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
