"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
