You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
