He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
