youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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