I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
