I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
