I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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