if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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