I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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