i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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