I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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