youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
