Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
