if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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