I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
