omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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