Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
