I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize