I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
