the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
