i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
