Rock
Scissors
Fuck
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
