why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
