they need to just BURY HIM!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
