You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize
