I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
