His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
