Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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