You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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