and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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