bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Terrible idea I love it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
