Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
