i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this beer tastes like vomit already
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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