My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
