Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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