Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
