I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
