who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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