That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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