Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
